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Jun 28, 2010

Sweden says “I do” to same-sex marriage

by: Christine Demsteader
Last year on May 1, Alexandra Einerstam and Åsa Andersson became wife and wife, tying the knot on the day same-sex marriage legislation came into force in Sweden.

You may now kiss the bride.
You may now kiss the bride. Photo: Scanpix

Alexandra and Åsa’s wedding has been a Facebook event since a month before the wedding. Instead of an official guest list, the couple has welcomed anyone and everyone to celebrate with them in a park in central Stockholm. “We are making a statement that all love is good,” Einerstam says. “We have fought and waited so long for this.”

When Parliament passed the bill on April 1, the brides-to-be proposed to be one of the first Swedish homosexual couples to stage their big day. Sweden was an early starter in introducing registered partnerships for gay and lesbian couples in 1995. The road to marriage, however, has been somewhat rockier. 

“I want to be married,” Einerstam says. “Partnership is not the same. I don’t want to introduce Åsa as my ‘registered partner’ – I love her, she’s my wife.”

Parliament says “Ja” — by popular vote

Sweden becomes the seventh country in the world to wholly embrace gender-neutral marriage. While political debate on the issue has come to the fore in the last decade, it has been on the agenda for RFSL, the Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights (LGBT), since the organization was founded in 1950. RFSL president Sören Juvas hails it an historic day for Sweden.

“You must ask what this means for everyone in society,” he says. “It’s a victory for all, not only the LGBT community, because it’s a question of democracy, equality and human rights.”
 
Sören Juvas sees the new law as a victory for all of society, one more obstacle that we have overcome on the road to equality.
Sören Juvas sees the new law as a victory for all of society, one more obstacle that we have overcome on the road to equality. Photo: Peter Knutsson

Legislation was passed by Sweden’s parliament on April 1 with an overwhelming majority: 261 members voted in favor, 22 opposed while 16 abstained.

The phrase ‘marriage’ has been the key controversy in this question, for supporters and critics alike. “Before, there was a legal reason to treat gays and lesbians differently because they were not married — now that will disappear,” Juvas says.

What’s the church got to do with it?

The Church of Sweden separated from the State in 2000, but religious leaders have been actively engaged in the gay marriage debate.

Since 2007, homosexual couples have been offered a religious blessing and officially, the church has come out in support of the law and the 'marriage' terminology. But debate remains within the sacred walls. “If you ask certain priests in certain parishes there are still differences of opinion,” says vicar Eva Brunne, Dean to the Bishop of Stockholm.

“For me, it’s important to welcome gay people to the church with all the same rights. Historically, you could say we have not been so accepting of gays and lesbians but the church has become more open.”

Brunne is homosexual and has been in a registered partnership since 2001. “I am married already,” she says. ”According to the law we can convert it, to call it marriage on paper.”

She believes the church has been held somewhat accountable for the time it has taken for the law to see the light. “It’s not the church that has pushed this backwards,” she says. ”Legislation is a question for Parliament.”

The political campaigns

Six of the seven political parties also backed the bill, the sole opponent being the Christian Democrats, one of four parties in the governing coalition.

Same-sex couples have been able to marry before in Sweden, but with the legal status of registered partnership. They can now convert it to gain legal status. Alexandra and Åsa (above), chose to wait for the new law, but not a day longer than that.
Same-sex couples have been able to marry before in Sweden, but with the legal status of registered partnership. They can now convert it to gain legal status. Alexandra and Åsa (above), chose to wait for the new law, but not a day longer than that. Photo: Jonas Ekströmer/Scanpix

Birgitta Ohlsson, Liberal (Folkpartiet) MP has been a long-standing campaigner for same-sex marriage. “It’s in line with Swedish values of tolerance, openness and liberty,” she says.

Still, this equality-driven nation has remained in the pioneering shadows of places such as Spain, where same-sex marriage has been legal for four years.

“We haven’t been as progressive as other countries in this question,” Ohlsson admits. “But we have been dealing with other LGBT issues like gay adoption and insemination for lesbians. Many political parties were either slow starters or changed their opinion, but the Christian Democrats have been fairly isolated in this issue.”

Surveys suggest there’s around 70 percent support from the Swedish population for gay marriage. Yet, Yvonne Andersson, Christian Democrat MP, says there is considerable opposition in society that should be heard. “I have received more than 100,000 emails, calls and letters saying that we have given people a voice,” she says.

“We say the new law shows a lack of respect towards the religiously and culturally-charged term ‘marriage,’ which should be reserved for a union between a man and a woman.”

According to the Christian Democrats, their stance is based on traditional values. “The state and church are separated so the state should not interfere with religion,” Andersson adds. “Nor should priests be forced to wed all couples and we fear this could be the result.” 

Power to the priests

Indeed, same-sex marriage is not signed and sealed just yet. In October, the Church of Sweden Synod will discuss whether ceremonies can be conducted in church as well as a possible get-out clause for clergy who prefer not to marry homosexual couples.

“It could actually be made legal for priests to discriminate couples,” Juvas says. “We have taken the first step and this will be another to take.”

For now, there’s no stopping the romance in the air for Sweden’s gay and lesbian community. “What is private has become political but our wedding day is a celebration of love and equality at the same time,” Einerstam says.


Christine Demsteader

Christine Demsteader is an English freelance journalist, who attended Alexandra and Åsa’s wedding with the hopes of finding a husband. That did not happen, but over the last year she has progressed from single in Stockholm to moving in with boyfriend in Stockholm.

The author alone is responsible for the opinions expressed in this article.

This article was originally published on May 1, 2009.

Comments on this article

There are 49 comments on this article:
Gmm
Country:  Nigeria, Aug 26, 2010
Ooops that is a great catastrosphere for sweden government to legalize same sex marriage cuz its against God & nature its also illegal in nigeria email okafor.chisom.21@ovi.com
theman
Country:  Sweden, Aug 23, 2010
Here is an interesting video to respond to all those questions posted by the LGBT community. Make sure you watch it. Gay marriage is ridiculous, and it is not "homofobic" to be against it. If not agreeing with something is "discrimination" then Christian are being discriminated everyday when people do not respect their viewpoints, mock and dismiss them without consideration. Nature tells you this is wrong. This is a good answer for everyone about this issue:

http://vimeo.com/13965353

Uyi Iredia
Country:  Nigeria, Aug 13, 2010
i must commend the excellent quality & apparent simplicity in your website design >>> the Nigerian government website is a pale contrast to this >>> yet these guys want to spend 700 million naira (roughly $5 million) on some stupid giant birthday cake , lol













Uyi Iredia
Country:  Nigeria, Aug 13, 2010
ultimately, laws are a reflection of new social paradigms & general ideology >>> this is the fulcrum, which in my opinion, is the reason for the legislation which allows gay marriage have legal status in Sweden >>> the socio-cultural consequences will be observed in time. >>> personally, though, i don't support gay rights for religious & moral reasons
Addex
Country:  Nigerai, Aug 12, 2010
Thats the sign of end time!
Pol (2)
Country:  Croatia, Aug 10, 2010
Most surely, Love should be the most sacred and honored phenomena in all religions and outside them, without any prejudice or need for religous or social confirmation. However, very often to make some ideas to function in practice you have to create appropriate circumstances and suistainable system along , and not only offer conceptual ideas that will work only in your country and could create only a mess in some other.
Pol
Country:  Croatia, Aug 10, 2010
To see same sex pairs kissing or holding together in public can look strange indeed, especially if they make a show out of it. At the other hand two (same sex) people showing agression to each other on the street can be regarded as disturbing, but in usual cases not so much extraordinary. Of course, extraordinary things makes as wonder how they will affect our reality But maybe we simply do not have complete picture of it. ...
autechre113@gmail.com
Country:  the Netherlands, Aug 10, 2010
As always the religious people among us have the word of god to guide them. If you use a stone age fairy tale for your moral guidance, why not stone your children for disobedience or reinstate slavery? You should respect gods word, right?
Religion held the human race back for thousands of years, the time has come to end it!
faisal
Country:  bangladesh, Aug 10, 2010
This is truly disgusting. In long past many nations are destroyed only for same sex and for that same sex was banded. But now again it begins. So may be we will see the destroying of these kind of society and nations 9same sex).
PLS keep far away from same sex.
Grass
Country:  Spain, Aug 5, 2010
It is great to see how mankind advances and decisions are taken based on reasons and not religion beliefs behind the times. Nobody is entitled to say who you can marry.(Thanx God!)
mkl
Country:  usa, Aug 3, 2010
Same sex marriage is TERRIBLE! As someone said above, God is horrified!
Guardian
Country:  USA, Jul 31, 2010
Edit: Sakuri should have been Hakuri in the post below. My apologies.
Guardian
Country:  USA, Jul 31, 2010
Leon and Sakuri must not have seen much of nature or animals from their comments. I've seen plenty of animals (even dogs and cats) that do certain activities within the same gender. This clearly throws out the argument by some that it is "unnatural". Humans are a part of the animal kingdom too.

Personally I'm glad that marriage can be about love, regardless of the gender involved instead of the "traditional" version which was about politics and property.
Hakuri
Country:  Nigeria, Jul 31, 2010
This is evil even animals that in bush would not choose the same sex
NSEIZM@YAHOO.COM
Country:  NIGERIA, Jul 30, 2010
BUT TRULY SPEAKING I WOULD LOVE TO MARRY A GIRL FROM SWEDEN


NICHOLAS
NOBLEGUY
Country:  NIGERIA, Jul 30, 2010
I LEARN THERE ARE MORE WOMEN THAN MEN IN SWEDEN BUT SHOULD I THINK OF AN ANY ADVENTURE IN THIS VERY DIRECTION SAME SEX WILL NEVER BE AN OPTION COS I WILL LIKE TO MARRY FROM SWEDEN.2348038950123 NICHOLAS
KAREEM BAKER
Country:  NIGERIA, Jul 30, 2010
POLYGAMY THE WESTERN WORLD AND EUROPEANS TOLD AFRICANS THAT IS BARBARIC AND DEHUMANIZING.HOWEVER THEY NOW TELL US THAT SAME SEX MARRIAGE IS HUMAN RIGHT????

WHO IS FOOLING WHO????
Leon
Country:  Malaysia, Jul 26, 2010
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! Such kind of marriage is unacceptable. We're human/creation created in pair to complete each other. Even animals wouldn't choose the same sex as partner. Are we lower than animals?pest?
Frank
Country:  Uzbekistan, Jul 22, 2010
This is foolish matter...
It is very ugly
cc
Country:  malaysia, Jul 5, 2010
not good to marry man and man ,God is not happy with us
shanto
Country:  Bangladesh, Jun 3, 2010
hi i am gay from Bangladesh.but i cant live here coz i cant marry with same sex .my family and our society cant permit to do that.i wanna come Sweden and get marry with guys.plz anybody here who can help me out here........any how..........if possible........
my email id is: mahabub.se@gmail.com
sweden.se
Country:  Sweden, Jun 3, 2010
@ahsan: See my reply to H.O.P.E. below on how to get married in Sweden. Good luck!
/Emma
ahsan
Country:  pakistan, Jun 2, 2010
i wana gay marige with my partner pls help any body
ahsan9550@yahoo.com
ahsan
Country:  pakistan, Jun 2, 2010
i wana gay marige with my partner but i live in pakistan
and pakistan is not excepted gay marige pls help me i wana go other contary
ammar
Country:  Algeria, Apr 15, 2010
MARIAGE
WIFE & MARY
didou
Country:  algeria, Apr 1, 2010
love love love love love love love love love love love love love
Sweden.se
Country:  Sweden, Feb 2, 2010
Dear H.O.P.E.,
Yes, you can get married in Sweden – either in a church or before a civil authority. Before the ceremony you need to obtain a marriage licence from the local Swedish Tax Office (Skatteverket) in the area where the wedding is taking place. However, the marriage may not be recognized in your own country. You'll have to check that yourself.
Best of luck!
H.O.P.E
Country:  Malaysia, Feb 2, 2010
could two Malaysian perform same -sex marriage in Sweden?
Could it be legal?
an
Country:  Nigeria, Jan 9, 2010
I humbly wish to be in partnership with the above forum my e-mail address is andichaka@gmail.com
edo
Country:  Bosnia and Herzegovina, Nov 15, 2009
zezo said:"I think this kind of marriage is disgusting"
It's such a shame when you read this homofobic comments,and
knowing that Sweden receives this kind of radical and close minded people from Iraq and Iran,when there is so much LGBT people from Eastern Europe who don't have any rights in their countries,but we don't have opportunity do live in Sweden.
Sweden.se
Country:  Sweden, Oct 31, 2009
Dear Anita,
As I understand it, you must in this case apply for a residence and work permit before you come to Sweden (in your case I suppose you must go outside Sweden's borders to apply). But please read more for yourself on the Migration Board website http://migrationsverket.se/english/efamilj/index.jsp or contact them at: migrationsverket@migrationsverket.se. Best of luck with your life and love!
Anita
Country:  inida, Oct 31, 2009
hi, i m studying in sweden. I am a muslim girl and have indian nationality. I love a swedish girl, my class-mate. she insists to marry with her.if i marries her, my parents would not let me to enter india.plz guide me if i marries her, can i claim legal residence in sweden. i mean to say would swedish government give me nationality??? plz do and must reply
Arie
Country:  Indonesia, Oct 4, 2009
this is only beginning .... and I envisage the years ahead .... there'll be "more progressive approach" .... a man with a male baboon/ a woman with a female dog standing in front of Constitutional Court, House of Representative and Church yelling for right to get married and build a happy family with the baboon to be legalized ? ... just don't forget to attach the wedding ring on that baboon finger ;)

In the name of human rights .... we're lost ....
Amy
Country:  USA, Sep 11, 2009
This is wonderful news. I am considering studying in Sweden for my Ph.D. and wanted to understand better Sweden's policies regarding equal rights. Swedes should be proud of their country. I have a very high opinion of Sweden now.
franzz
Country:  philipphines, Sep 11, 2009
is allowed to marry in stockholm if the man is not liviíng here he lives in france, and his parthner living here in sweden but no papers yet i meaN leagal papers=?
Vic
Country:  Malaysia, Aug 24, 2009
Hi. Marriage between same sex is good to make partners loving each other and to avoid social problem. In Malaysia, same sex is illegal againsts law. Congratulations to Swedish Government to allow same sex marriage.
Marco
Country:  Egypt, Aug 5, 2009
The Peron must Respect GOD and Respect His Word's
it sex just
Country:  pakistan, Aug 1, 2009
its just sex way not any thing else
efsne-47-47@hotmail.com
Country:  ıstanbul , Jun 30, 2009
:(:(:((:((:(:
Nana
Country:  Thailand, Jun 10, 2009
Congratulation!
Benito
Country:  Mexico, Jun 5, 2009
One day... yes, one day gay wedding will be legal worldwide.
God bless the gay !
God bless the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway and Sweden !

Will be Mexico next?
Roy
Country:  USA, Jun 2, 2009
I am really jealous that there allow gay marriage look more happy their gay marriage. If USA allow same sex marriage. Sure. I will marry man. I need to make happiness together not for SEX !
zezo
Country:  iraq, May 28, 2009
i think this kind of marriage is disgusting
abang_banana@yahoo.com
Country:  Malaysia, May 27, 2009
marriegeisacommittment...have a break...think...decide...choose as per your specification....it's all about commitment..think
hetero but sane
Country:  sweden, May 21, 2009
@doansien get a grip and join the 21st century. how can love between two people cause need for deliverance?
donasienkalala@yahoo.com
Country:  danmark, May 20, 2009
i think u must respect the word of God not doing such abomination. so u seem to be possessed by the bad spirit and need delivarence.
Zulal
Country:  Ethiopia, May 13, 2009
husband ? What for ?
Christine, if you are financially capable, have a child ,forget husband.
luckyfromkolob@yahoo.co.uk
Country:  Nigeria, May 8, 2009
can i have christines email or phone number so that i can contact her
ahoora_69@yahoo.com
Country:  dubai, May 3, 2009
hi
i like to know christine more

 
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